Recurring Daydream: Shoot for the Stars

So, if anyone reading this does not know me personally (who am I kidding, it is probably just my family and friends), but just in case,  I wanted to give an anecdotal example to who I am and a little insight into my life. So hopefully after reading this you will feel like you know me a bit better.

Okay, so, I love to "run". I place the verb in parentheses because most would not classify it as running, but more of a flail since I lack coordination, have absolutely NO muscle tone anywhere on my body, and sweat like nobody's business. But, man, for some reason I love it.

Anyway, I have this reoccuring daydream/vision when I am "running". It has been especially prevalent since the Olympics for some reason. I can imagine it sooo vividly. I am wearing my fanny pack with water bottles, jamming to Kelly Clarkson mixed with the Rocky theme song, and sprinting towards the finish line of a probably half, not full marathon. Gigi and Matthew are at the finish line with my family cheering me on. I am not even tired, the adrenaline has me going and I am not even in last place. Definitely not first, but somewhere in the middle-ish. Everyone is cheering for me. I feel so good and I finish.

Now, here comes the realist in me.

A. I am FIERCELY UN-competitive. In fact, I really could care less.
B. I run at a snails pace and breathe REALLY heavily and grunt so my finish line picture would look (and sound) very different than the eloquent competitor.
C. I can barely jog like 3 miles. Once I hit 3, I start getting the chills and my body literally goes into anti-phalactic shock or something.
D. I turn the color of a cherry tomato after about 1/3 of a mile.
E. And below is the biggest reason as to why my running daydream is ridiculously unrealistic.

In my head, I look like this:

But, in all reality, I look like this:

This is my life. Take it or leave it. But, man, if I ever do that half-marathon. I am wearing a go pro and making a documentary of it. And putting it on you tube. My heart is kind of beating fast right now as I write this. No lie. If you ever see me running down Eldon, I may look like I am dying, but I probably am not. Please do not stop and please do not tell me or anyone else that you saw me. In fact, just pretend it was a bad dream or a mirage or something.